It was the first thing I thought of this morning. Christ died. Someone's Son died. We gasp at those words today from the horror of such difficult loss for earthly families. And I think Good Friday passes most people by without them stopping to ponder that event. It's just another day off of work, right? I feel like I'm being pushed back to the very basics of the gospel this year. Christ died. And on top of it all, He was God's only Son. And He died for me. I'll remember this Good Friday with a different perspective...
Three weeks ago, my child died. This baby was my only child. My first. And although my baby didn't die for someone else, and his death won't mean eternal life for someone else, the loss of Good Friday weighs deeper on my heart than most others before. My baby was unborn, having never heard a heartbeat, or laid eyes on it's growing arms and legs. I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. Christ, God's son, had a beating heart, and He grew for 33 years! I'm sure God looked at the life of Jesus and was so proud of his Son.
And He sent Him to die. I think I've always just looked at Good Friday and Easter Sunday as the great sacrifice that this man, Jesus Christ, made for all humanity....all sinful humanity. But today I am also reflecting on the Sovereign Father who allowed His Son to die for me.
God experienced loss that day...but with the hope and knowledge that He had a greater plan for His Son's life and death...and resurrection. I am understanding and seeing that hope of the loss of my child. I know that there is a bigger purpose in his death...
I don't pretend to equate my loss with the loss that God experienced on that Good Friday. But I understand it in a new way today. Today I'm reminded that the act of unconditional love and sacrifice made on that cross so long ago brings redemption to any sin and any loss. Because of that sacrifice, my sweet child is in Heaven. And because of that sacrifice, I will rise to Heaven to meet the baby I never held.
And I will never deserve that...
Friday, April 10, 2009
To look on Him and pardon me...
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3 comments:
We are such broken people. Thank the Lord that He died to heal us and make us whole. I, too, have a little one in Heaven. I'm so glad that God is our hope.
I love my wife so much.
matt
WOW Katie, you have a gift for writing...we had nearly the EXACT SAME thoghts on Palm Sunday and Easter...I wished that I could have talked to you then...your little baby passed away, and then mine...You are an amazing woman, keep it up! I am only just know flipping through some of your posts and gaining some new thoughts and perspectives, I would love to stay in touch with you, over FB maybe!
Marlene Terpstra - Steinke
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